DAY FOURTEEN
Question: Are you waiting for the number one?
Answer: Nope. And to ruin your morning a little more, it just went by. Get here a little faster.
Last night, Craving The Cupcakes and playpen-jessi and I attended a "Calgarys Blogger Meet-Up". In all fairness, it was pretty awkward for people to just jump in and meet people, almost like a blind date. But once you got your coffee and got around to opening up to people who you were and what you do, it turned into something interesting.
Now I say this with pure observance. For the entire night from six to eight I was a total wallflower. Why? I'm shy. I always talk about being a hermit for my entire childhood because I was shy and just not out-going at all and how I regret it. But regret doesn't make change, hense I sat there drinking my mocha watching people just jump right in to the mixing and mingling that was supposed to take place of the night. But I wasn't the only one as my two companions sat there awkwardly, a little shy and a little intimidated like myself. Of course, people have senses for these things and in kindess, tried to interact with the likes of us but it only worked for them really. I sat there with a small smile on my face listening intently to people's stories. There was a person there who described his entire job and how he just "fell in to it" which even right now I don't know what it is. Something about arguing real-estate. I like to aruge so I might have to look in to that. There was also a guy who looked kind of homeless, would rather have had the coffee-shop be a bar and I swear was a conspiracy theroist. And there was even a woman whos been blogging since I was in elementary school. Damn!
Now I understood there has always been bloggers around Calgary and many of them seem to be like myself. They have one, they just never discussed it out of fear of being judged. Even our organizer for the evening over at Merry With Children had said "my friends think I'm weird." My problem is I am weird, I just don't want people thinking I'm as weird as they think I am. That'd just be weird you know? Anyways I think thats what turned me in to a huge Wallflower last night. It was the fact that even if these people do what I do, I still end up with the feeling of being the inferior to them. I feel that they haven't read my blog, but they never will because it's something that definitley wouldn't interest them. Although I don't care if people read about my life or not, I never like the feeling of thinking 'I'll never get a chance'. And thats all we really want in life right?
All in all it wasn't a night I regret and it was a time I would like to have again. I just hope its warmer when I go out again! I'd rather show up as me, but me in a giant sweater, freezing my ass off.
--Too Much Thought
